Designer dogwear

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We’re all going to Hell in a handcart. Not content with breeding dogs that can sit in an A-lister’s handbag, humanity has now gone even further. Meet the Pucci Hoodies. That’s right, hoodies for the kind of small yappy dogs that even David Cameron would shy away from hugging. They’re fleece-lined tops, which come with a drawstring hood (presumably for when your dog doesn’t want to be identified on CCTV footage of him weeing up the postman’s leg).

And okay, they’re not just for small yappy dogs. They come in eight sizes, from Small (Paris Hilton pets only) through XL+ (cocker spaniels) right up to 4L (Great Danes). Although if you fancy squeezing a Great Dane into a hoodie, you’re a braver man than Brandish. They come in blue, pink and khaki colours (this is the hoodies, not Great Danes), and cost £24.95 or £39.95 from Firebox. BUY IT