Sometimes it’s good to look a little sleazy, kind of like having a little pot belly: in small doses, cute; massive beer gut, not cute. American Apparel have got just the thing to inject a little cheese and sleaze into your wardrobe, a strokable furry velour sweatshirt, £26. So don this trashy jumper and make like Gerrold from Ghost World with the cheesy chat up lines: "Hey, nice green dress you got there. What are you, Irish?" Contrasting silk scarf and moustache optional.