Amplified tee

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Admit it, ever since you got given a pack of those "rub on" tattoos, you’ve wanted to get your whole body inked in flaming skulls, swords with snakes wrapped around them and evil, naked she-devils. You were going to buy a big motorbike too, and stay up until four 4am every morning. But then you got your stuffy office job, your Ikea furniture and the girlfriend who won’t even let you bleach your hair. Sell out.

Which is why it’s fortunate that you can still buy awesome t-shirts like this (£35). A cobra twisting its way through a human skull? Yes please! Despite just erring on the good side of tacky, it’s actually a good looking, well drawn design. If people really don’t like it, just tell them "Its ironic." Then they’ll agree and walk away like the muppets they are.