What a bind it is to sleep with someone who gets up at a different time
to you in the morning. Oh sure, the night before it’s all wine and
laughter and naughtiness. But then in the morning the alarm goes off
and while one of you begrudgingly emerges from your kip, the other
grumpily turns over, punches the alarm clock and hides under the
pillow. Well, those days may soon be over, readers. How? Here’s how!
little ring thing is designed to vibrate at a time you specify, meaning that as
long as you remember to put it on your finger before you go to sleep,
you will be gently buzzed from your slumber as if a kitten were purring
into your fingernail (or something). No more screaming at lousy
commercial radio DJs at 7am! No more Radio 4 people being all
blusterful in your ear first thing in the morning!
It’s only a concept
at the moment, but the proposed idea is to provide a charging cradle
for 2 rings, meaning you and your partner can set your buzzing rings to
a time that suits you both. Happiness ever after will surely prevail.
1. You’re prone to passing out with no ability to remove your iPod, let alone adorn your person with further gadgetry.
You are an angry waker, likely to rip the buzzing little bastard off
your finger and fling it across the room, thereby losing it behind the
wardrobe. This could prove costly in both time and money.
3. You have extremely vivid
dreams which result in you actually mistaking the gadget for a kitten
purring into your fingernail. Waking up screaming about baby cats is no
way to assure your beloved that you’re long-term relationship material.
On inviting your new partner to your boudoir you thoughtfully inform
her that you "have a buzzing ring just waiting for your finger to enter
it." Hilarious / painful / lonely consequences ensue.
5. You fall out the night before, leading to middle-of-the-night alarm sabotage on one, or both, of your parts.
Of course, if you set the little fella to buzz before bedtime there may be other possible uses for it, the benefits of which will
overshadow such trifles.
Anyway, it’s not actually available
yet, so there’s plenty of time to iron out glitches and actually, like,
manufacture it. Until then, perhaps consider going out with someone who