Brandish (and Sean Lock) says don’t: Novelty ties and socks

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I’ve got nothing against genuinely humorous t-shirts but "komedy" ties
and socks say nowt more than "My friends and family couldn’t be
bothered to find out what I really wanted for Christmas". I went to see Sean Lock (who incidentally looks just like my dad) doing a warm up show for Edinburgh recently and he did a whole sketch about comedy menswear. As he rightly pointed out, wouldn’t it be miles better to have factually correct but grimly depressing accessories? I’d love to see a tie bedecked in Christmas holly but upon closer inspection bears the wording: "Glasgow has the lowest life expectancy in the UK".

Or how about some socks with the words “The conviction rate for rape is 6%”. It’s a bit unsavoury but I’d rather see that emblazoned on my date’s socks than Taz the Tasmanian Devil or Purple Ronnie. I’m all for the laughs, but if you have to hammer home the message that you’re funny by means of franchised clothing maybe it’s time to adopt a strong and silent type persona. See after the jump for a selection of ties and socks that wont make people cringe.


Clockwise from left: Stripe tie, Marks and Spencers: £15. Peckham Rye knitted tie: £55. Comme Des Garçons lurex sock,  Browns: £20. Coral socks, Uniqlo: £1.99. Check socks, Topman: £3.