So this is to be my last post for Brandish. I know, you punks are distraught, right? I’ve enjoyed myself, but it was eating into my shopping time and that will never do. Papa loves you but he don’t love you that much.
Thanks for reading, thanks for writing the occasional nice comment and to those of you who wrote mean shit, I hope your babies look like monkeys. I thought I’d leave you with my top 5 hot looks for right now. That’s the kind of guy I am – giving to the last.
1. Show some sock. Hoisties are in but if you’re going to wear them with socks, make sure they’re saying something (and don’t let that thing be ‘I tought I thaw a puddy tat’). Go for geometric patterns à la Moschino.
2. Checks with checks. It used to be a cardinal rule not to mix patterns but now it’s officially ok. If anyone asks, tell them I said so. A nice plaid shirt with a different plaid jacket is pure hotness.
3. Extra long jumpers. A word of caution with this though – it looks best if you’ve got skinny legs. If you’re stocky it can make you look like you’ve got thunder thighs. Witness Tom Cruises long jackets. I don’t know who told him that was a good look but they are always too long on him and make him look like he’s got Beyoncé thighs.
4. Short shorts. Get those pins on display this summer in some nice tailored shorts cut right up to your knickers. If you’re going to wear these, they MUST be worn with briefs not boxers. Yes you need balls to carry this look off, but we don’t all want to see them.
5. The tie tuck. Tucking the end of your tie into your shirt is so fresh right now, it’s still breathing.
Ok, that’s me. Bye now!