Clothes wise it was slim pickings at the premier of Tropic Thunder, the new Ben Stiller vehicle in which Robert Downey Jr. blacks up. What? Yeah I know, you thought you had seen the last of that when the Black and White Minstrels was cancelled for being incredibly racist but then BAM! RDJ blind sides you and its 40 years ago all over again. But seriously the only really mention worthy outfit was Justin Theroux who came dressed as a Blues Brother, so instead I’m going to take you through the facial hair highs and lows of the event, because style doesn’t just begin and end with your clothes.
Jump through to see some fine male plumage.[Images: Rex Features]
I’ve split these 4 cleanly shaven fellas down into two categories: the first 2, Ben Stiller and Tom Cruise where I think wise choices have been made about abstaining from facial fur as seeing either of those with even stubble would freak me out, and the second 2, John Voight and Jason Bateman who freak me out anyway so the less face I can see the better, beard it up boys! Also Jason Bateman looks like your recently divorced Dad introducing you to your new Mum, not a strong look Bateman.
Brandon T Jackson here upping the ante from the no-attempts to a goatee stubble. Goatees are always a risk and I’m not keen at all, the Goatee is the sitting on the fence of beards and is exclusively for beat poets and not Mr B T Jackson, no sir.
This is AMAZING, there are few things in life much more perfect than what is located between RDJ’s upper lip and nose. Top ‘taching Junior!
4. The designer stubble or light beard. What would George Michael make of these gems?
Jay Baruchel and Mathew “The Abs” McConaughy here rocking a light weight summer beard, for the man who wants people to know he beards but doesn’t want to overheat in the L.A sun.
Jack Black, Nick Nolte and Toby Maguire hitting you up with “The Dad”. Look at Toby, only 10 years my senior but I’d accept him as a father figure, for sure.
There were some ladies at the event also, but you know, no beard no interest and remember: if you can grow it, flaunt it!