Firstly let me confess my prejudices: I freaking love Burberry. I love Burberry for it’s class and excellence but more than that I love Burberry for its brash and obnoxious reputation bestowed upon it by council estates across the nation. No other brand can you wear and say with equal validity “I’m 1st class on Eurostar to Paris at 8:55 so get me on my Blackberry.” and “You look at Stacey again ‘n I’ll smash your fuckin’ head in!” Which is why I went off the radar with excitement when Isabelle told me she was calling in Burberry for men for me to test drive.
For the sake of this post I will not be suspending my prejudice but will be practically encouraging it. This disclaimed please jump through and get yer eyes round this review chock full of angels vaginas and teenage pregnancy- because you’ll never guess how I shoe horned those into this write up…
I wanted to start this review by saying that “Burberry for men smells like an angel’s vagina” however I can’t. Failing that I wanted to be able to say that “Burberry for men smells like a 6 pack of Stella and teenage pregnancy” but alas again this would be inaccurate. The scent is neither the ultimate in class (an angels vagina is the classiest simile I could think of- sorry) or the depths of obnoxion. It is however very, very nice.
The one major criticism I have with this cologne is that it takes a long while to settle on your skin and in this initial period it smells very generic and more suited to fifty year old sales rep from Doncaster than a young London jet setter. Given a few hours to settle though the scent is pleasing being sweet with hints of honey and vanilla. Unlike other fragrances that peak in the first few hours and then become unnoticeable, Burberry is at no point overwhelming but stays subtly on your skin hour after hour giving off its warm saccharin smell so even slogging out 9 hours in the office you can hit the pub smelling fresh as a Nova Check daisy. The subtlety of this fragrance is its key, quite easily could you wear this scent day in day out without getting tired or bored of it and if you, like me, can’t afford a multitude of fragrances this is a massive plus. This said the nagging doubt I have about this scent is that yes it is nice but is nice good enough? Philip Schofield is nice, wouldn’t want to wear him on my skin though. Nuff said. The lack of any real statement is a massive disappointment for me and feels a little off brand for Burberry but perhaps as a result this fragrance will appeal to a far wider audience than one that is more unusual or distinctive.
Smell aside I think I should also point out that the packaging rules. Inside the cardboard outer you get an unlabelled bottle that is covered in a Burberry check sheath for which I, as of yet, have failed to find another use for- I shall persevere until I have accessorised myself with it.
I don’t claim to be much of a perfume connoisseur but I am picky when it comes to what I wear and though I do like the Burberry scent I feel that it is far too bland for me to part with beer money for, I’m more of a smell amazing for two hours (and then a mini cab for ten) rather than nice for twelve kinda guy. This said I could attribute my reservations to my age and would gladly recommend Burberry to a man in his more distinguished years who wants his cologne to be less of an assault on the nostrils more a gentle massage for all occasions. I give this three St. Tropez out of five. I’m using St. Tropez’s as a quiet holler to all those fake tanned ladies (and men?) that work behind perfume counters world wide- your skin is a rich tapestry of rust that amuses all and for that I thank you.