Fabregas returns, and four other Arsenal transfers that aren’t going to happen

Ok Arsenal fans – time to reach for those straws.

With an injury list that is growing by the day, a manager who seems to have forgotten where he last left his cheque book and the small matter of a London derby against free spending Spurs days away- things are looking grim.

Here though are a few long shots for you to cling to. Not one of them is likely to happen, but then again we did sign five players in the last few days of the 2011 window (sighs) and who would have predicted that?

1 Cesc comes back to be with Matty – The theory ruins like this. He is still not sure about his future at Barca. Moyes is coming back in for him with a bigger bid and Arsene has just brought his best mate Matty back to Arsenal. On deadline Cesc comes to his senses and is an Arsenal player once more.

2 Suarez finally gets real, not Real – The Uruguayan has been a bit quiet of late, but with days to go, and with no sign of that Madrid bid materialising, he pushes for a move to Arsenal who get him hours before the deadline for £45 million.

3 Higuain realises he is pasta intolerant – He has already had an altercation or two on Capri which has upset his club’s owner. Just maybe he’ll realise that life in Italy isn’t what he expected and angles for a last minute move to North London thereby saving Wenger’s face as he hasn’t signed any other strikers.

4 Lewandowski becomes even more of a mercenary - The lanky Pole admits that having pretty much agreed to joining Bayern next season he can’t in all honesty play for Dortmund this year. And he surmises that if you are going to behave like a mercenary then you might as well do it for better wages in London. For one year only, obviously.

5 Robert Pires comes out of retirementHe is still pretty good you know.

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AshleyFabregas returns, and four other Arsenal transfers that aren’t going to happen