Fujifilm Z5FD camera, with digital face targeting

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That’s destroy as in ‘make them look silly by taking pictures when they’re drunk’, obviously. Fujifilm may have a facial targeting system in its new FinePix Z5fd camera, but it hasn’t got around to installing missiles yet. The face detection tech can hone in on up to ten faces in a frame, and optimise the focus and exposure of your …

Gupi, the interactive guinea pig

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That’s a rhetorical question by the way. OF COURSE you want an interactive guinea pig. And if you don’t, you will once you’ve read this post. Gupi is a robo-guinea-pig, who wanders round your house without bumping into things, pooing on the carpet, or nicking your lettuce. He reacts to noises, light and touch, and like all good virtual pets, …

Heineken tracks beer from space

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When I heard that Heineken was setting up a pilot project called the Beer Living Lab, I was all set to be first in the queue. Okay, so it would’ve been even better if it was Magners, but the chance to live inside a luxurious laboratory drinking beer while scientists poked me with wires was too good to miss. Sadly, …

Intelligent surveillance and guard robot

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Okay, so Arnie isn’t taking time off from his day job governing California any time soon to whup Kim Jong-il’s butt. But South Korea has unveiled an Intelligent Surveillance and Guard Robot, which is going to patrol its border and shoot at any intruders. It’s like a robotic sentry gun, which booms out "Who goes there?’ (in Korean) when it …

FruitBalls fruit bowls

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Men don’t eat enough fruit. But we do like football. Combine these two well-recognised concepts, and you’d probably come up with a fruit bowl that’s shaped like a football, to cunningly tempt us blokes into munching a few apples. Except then you’d realise someone had invented it already. FruitBalls are designed to look like deflated footballs and basketballs, but they’re …

Hero of the day: Pierluigi Collina

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Name Pierluigi Collina Job Super Referee. Special Powers Taking no shit from brattish footballers and giving the deathly thousand yard stare. He said "Some thought losing hair could be a problem for a referee. I showed that wasn’t true. Plus, I save on hair products." They said Germany and Bayern goalkeeper Oliver Kahn once joked, "Collina is a world-class referee, …

Pure Evoke-1XT Marshall DAB radio

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Let’s get the obvious gag out of the way first: this is the first DAB radio to go all the way to eleven. There, it had to be said. Pure and Marshall – the makers of classic rock ‘n’ roll amps – have teamed up to bring you this uber-cool radio. The 1XT is modelled by Alice Cooper and, as …

Underwater Volcano lamp

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And no, this is nothing to do with what happens if you take a bath too soon after scoffing all the sprouts during Christmas lunch. Tsk. Instead, this Underwater Volcano is a lamp being sold by The Doghouse, and is like a next-generation lava lamp. Its core changes colour when switched on, while firing out red-hot magma balls, along with …

The world’s safest table-saw

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DIY equipment with built-in safety mechanisms to stop you turning your limbs into a bloody pulp? That’s spoiling the fun! What about the element of manly danger, eh? Nevertheless, if you’re worried about your cack-handed home improvement sending you to casualty, SawStop is worth a look. It’s a 10-inch cabinet saw whose blade automatically retracts within five milliseconds upon "accidental …

Sony 007 spy gadgets

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This limited-edition kit, launched to tie-in with the new Bond movie, Casino Royale, features an 11-inch Sony Vaio TX laptop equipped with an Intel Core Solo processor and an 80GB hard drive. It comes packaged in a 007-branded aluminium attach√© case – try taking that on the Tube without getting laughed at. Sony has also thrown in one if its …

Hero of the day: Geoff Capes

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Name Geoff Capes Job Rent-a-strong man and shot put champ. Oh, and he’s a prize winning budgerigar breeder. No… really. Special Powers Ripping yellow pages in half, throwing shot-puts really really far and tipping mini’s over on his own. He’s a bit of a hooligan really isn’t he? He said "When I had the opportunity to acquire a small stud …

Katamari Damacy 2D web game

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Seriously, don’t waste time reading this post. Just click here and go see a 2D Flash version of legendary (i.e. only geeks know it) game Katamari Damacy. Otherwise known as The One Where You Roll Stuff Up Into A Big Ball. Yes, the graphics are rudimentary, the music gets on your wick after a short time, and all the text …

Toshiba out-of-body VR helmet

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Want an out-of-body experience? Forget about strong drugs or jumping in front of a speeding vehicle. All you need is Toshiba’s new VR helmet, which claims to be a lighter, more wearable version of those virtual reality helmets which everyone had in the 1980s. Didn’t we? Anyway, it weighs 3kg, and has a 16-inch screen inside, which shows a virtual …

USB drum kit

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Deep in every man’s heart, there’s the desire to spend 20 minutes thumping out the drum solo from Led Zep’s ‘Moby Dick’ while screaming like a wild animal. Really, there is. Even if you don’t even like Led Zeppelin. And imagine how much better this would be if you could record your crashings and bashings directly into your computer, to …

James Bond’s five coolest cars

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1 ASTON MARTIN DB5 The classic Bond car, by a mile. Fitted with machine guns, radar, a bullet shield and the all-important ejector seat, it is still the most famous car in the history of 007 movies. In Goldfinger, the DB5 crashes into a brick wall after a chase involving a couple of black Mercedes, but it was revived for …

Hero of the day: Joe Boyd

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Name Joe Boyd Job A one man music happening. Producer, author, promoter and music mogul. Special Powers The ability to be at the right place at the right time and nurish. His CV is a ridiculous read. He’s partly responsible for the Newport Folk Festival, Pink Floyd, Nick Drake, Deliverance, the UFO club in London, John Martyn and more. He …

Sunjar light

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This sunjar light is perfect for the cold and dreary nights that are setting over the winter months. It’s been designed by a clever sod called Tobi Wong, and this jar actually stores sunlight. What you do, is leave this rascal sitting in the sunlight, and by night, hey presto, it will radiate light! All made possible by swanky modern …

Star Wars Darth Vader popcorn maker

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So you were daft enough to think that only softies munch popcorn? Welcome to the dark side my young paduan learner, and create tasty snacks for flicks in this super dope Darth Vader popcorn maker. Now, this bad boy sith machine features a 6 oz. popper inside a smoked glass and chrome cabinet, as well as the ability to choke …

See the Fonz in panto!

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It’s Christmas soon, and there’s a good chance that some of you may have kids pestering you to go to a pantomime. We all know how terrible panto is don’t we? Well, get this! Panto just got hip! How? Well, at the New Wimbledon Theatre in south west London, you’ll be able to see the Fonz. That’s right, Henry Winkler …

Wii Wii. The only Nintendo blog worth a damn

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When you’re done with Brandish (don’t forget to lock up on your way out), check out Shiny Media’s newest puppy, Wii Wii. It’s a fully house-trained, perfectly obedient blog that will cater to your every Nintendo Wii need. Bookmark it now and your life will be that extra bit more exciting. We promise.